Update

I haven’t written anything  in forever… I discovered my third year studying law was busier than I’d expected. Add to that my involvement in the Social Committee and that I’m thinking about joining another one and that I might get into a long distance relationship.

I’m seeing Bubblegum Boy tonight and we’re gonna talk about what we want. I’m actually a bit nervous about it.

Also, I’ve been having some trouble with flashbacks and stuff that I’m not sure are memories or a bad dream. I wrote about the night after my huge exam last December. Over the summer some memories has resurfaced. I’m not completely sure that Frog really did keep his hands off me. I have vague memories of something happening but I’m not sure if it’s really memories or something else. And I don’t want to talk to him ever again after what he did. So I’m at a loss what to do.

I’ve also started keeping a diary again. In a notebook. I’ve filled a third of the notebook in about a month. I’ve had a lot of thinking to do…Mostly about Bubblegum Boy. I’m not completely sure what I wanna do with us. He told me he knows what he wants but didn’t wanna talk about it over the phone.

Kyle moved to Italy for an exchange year and I’m actually missing him.

I spent the majority of the summer with two friends who don’t have names on this blog. Both of them deserve a post of their own though.

Keyboard

My keyboard broke over the weekend. So I’ve been without one for a couple of days… Was really weird and annoying! Now I’ve finally got a new one :D

Boyfriend?

The thought of having a boyfriend freaks me out. The thought of not having Bubblegum Boy in my life freaks me out even more. If I think too much about the fact that I’ve actually fallen in love with him freaks me out too. Not sure what to do in this situation, so Tuesday night found me looking for tickets to visit him. Thursday morning I left and I got back home Friday night. The time there was spent talking and fucking. The fucking was great and the talking also left me feeling a lot better about things :) We’re not together, but in how we act towards each other there is little difference between what we have and a long distance relationship.

Trust

I read somewhere that trusting someone is giving them the power to hurt you and hoping they won’t. That is so true. Sometimes I feel like trusting someone is a bit like handing them a sharp knife and showing them the best way to get between the ribs to stab your heart and hoping they wont.

Who cares about road trips when you get parties?

About a month ago or so I was in Gothenburg and a few of my friends had planned a mini road trip to go there. Since I was there we planned to meet up. They ended up in another town instead (which isn’t even on the way to Gothenburg from where they started) and promised me a “sorry we didn’t come to Gothenburg”-party for me. That party was last night and it was AWESOME!  I had sooo much fun!

Also, one of the guys who was supposed to come to Gothenburg but didn’t brought mead. Real mead. The stuff you brew from honey. I love it! It tasted really good!

Creepy Guys

I’ve had some less than fun experiences with guys who wanted to have sex with me this spring. One guy was especially creepy. We met up once and he spent the night at my place. Never again! At first it was just some minor things, like how I said I wanted the lights to be out before he tried to undress me. He didn’t listen. Guys who ignore the small things make me wary. What else will they ignore?

So I felt uncomfortable and when he unwrapped a condom without asking me if I wanted to have sex with him I told him that he would not be needing that condom. He took that to mean that we could have sex without one and tried. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him at all.

I was really tired so I kinda drifted off to sleep… And was jolted awake by a hand between my legs. That really creeped me out and I was too scared to fall asleep again after that.

Summer Vacation!

Since I haven’t got a summer job I’ll pretty much be free ’till late August. I’ll be pretty broke, but I’ll hopefully be able to relax and do nothing for a while :) (I’ll go crazy if I don’t find something to do soon though…. Gah!)

This past few weeks I’ve met up with some friends and just stayed at home doing nothing.

Plans for the summer:
*Watch five seasons NCIS with Raven
*Meet up with Bite Me and Bubblegum Boy at the same time :D Haven’t seen Bite Me for ages! (At least a year and a half!)
*Bake pie! (Lot’s of pie! Cos pie is awesome!)
*SLEEEEEEEP
*Clean out my old room at my mum’s place