Category: Humour


Spam

I had three new comments in my spam folder. One in Russian (I think, looked like it at least), one in German and one in a language I can’t even recognise.

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I’d promised Green Fairy that I’d get some pictures of the Halloween outfit for her. She helped me out A LOT. There would be no awesome outfit without her :D So I texted Raven, who works as a photographer and asked him if he could help me out. He said he’d be happy to help me out ^^

At first I pretty much just looked like a deer caught in headlights on all the pics. Then Raven put on som Günther music and acted really silly so I just started laughing a lot. We got some pretty good pictures :)

At the party later that night I had a lot of fun ’till Frog got me bit too drunk. I left a bit early and ended up watching a movie and discussion religion and politics with Raven ^^

So all in all I had a great night :D

Some Spam is Funny

This is what I found in my inbox a few days ago:

Dear Friend,

I hope that this e-mail reached you in the right frame of Mind.

I am Mrs Kate Foster , I am suffering from cancerous ailment,When my late
husband was alive he deposited the sum of 4.8 Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and investment in
capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this money is still
with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to
live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what
bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With
this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to
donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my
husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans,
destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren women
and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

Please contact me on the email below for further clarifications:

[e-mail adress]

Lady Kate Foster (ESQ.)
Arthur Cox Solicitors.

Yesterday I was talking to Lex on MSN. I haven’t talked to him in ages… I’ve kinda avoided him cos every time I talk to him the first thing he does is ask if I’m single. Yesterday the conversation went something like this:
Lex: It was ages since we last met up…
Me: Yeah, I know.. I’ll be kinda busy for the next week or so though
Lex: Doing what?
Me: Well, I have an exam on Thursday and I’ll be spending the weekend in [town where my grandparents live] then I have a meeting/party with the student mentor group on Monday and on Tuesday classes start.
Lex: You spend a lot of time in [town where my grandparents live], why?
Me: My grandparents live there xD
Lex: So no boy?
Me: I’d never have the energy for a LDR xD
Lex: So you’re still single?
Me: Yeah
Lex is inviting you to start sending webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

So I got kinda fed up and posted a status message to facebook complaining about people who asked if I was single the first thing they did and then asked if I had a web camera. Bite Me commented:  “Singel? Cam? xD” So then we started talking a lot on MSN :D

After Bite Me’s comment I changed my relationship status to “Married”.
Daisy commented: WHO!?
Me: I’m not married xD
Daisy :|

I was on MSN talking to Poi Girl so I told her about the comments me and Daisy left on the changed relationship status.
Me: Maybe I should marry someone then xD
Poi Girl: Marry me?
Me: Sure!
Poi Girl: Awwwe
Me: (K)
Poi Girl: (L)

So now me and Poi Girl are married on facebook xD I told you I was gonna marry a girl if I ever got married!

Me and Poi Girl went to see Sirqus Alfon again yesteday. We met up my mum, aunt and a friend of my aunts there. I had a lot of fun :D Sirqus Alfon are really crazy! Their “lead singer” has dreads coupled with shaving part of the head. They do “covers” of Spice Girls, Enigma, No Dobt, that Mr. Vain song I can never remember anything more about, Missy Elliot, and a whole bunch of other people/songs. How can you not love a group like that?

After the show me and Poi Girl met up with Daisy and her new boyfriend and some of his friends for a beer or two. It was kinda nice :) Her boyfriend seems nice^^ Most of the people she’s dated has turned out to be idiots.. So I’m really happy that she’s met a nice guy at last^^ No checking through her msn-conversations, no telling her what she can and can’t wear, no trying to turn her friends against her, no freaking out cos a male friend buys her a drink. And he’s good looking too^^

Daisy told us that they still haven’t had sex cos he gets too nervous. They both really want to, but he gets all nervous and stuff so he can’t get it up. Daisy said that he more than makes up for it though, so she doesn’t mind. Aparantly he has “magic fingers” xD

Most of the time Poi Girl and Daisy were making plans about upcoming parties and stuff and gossiping about mutual friends. Poi Girl dated some guy who turned out to be an asshole after a pregnancy scare and Daisy was semi-interested in another guy who turned out to be really arrogant and stuff. And some guy who Poi Girl dated a while was sad that Daisy had gotten a boyfriend cos now him and Daisy couldn’t have kids. This guy is a creep and Daisy has as big chance of getting pregnant without condoms as with them. She said she wouldn’t have his baby for a million.

Around midnight we split up, everyone going home.

When I got the station where the subway branches out I didn’t want to wait for my train (22min) so I started walking (would take me less than 20 minutes to get home that way). Some guy asked me when the train went but in the end started pestering me to come home with him to watch a movie. I’m not interested in random desperate guys!

After we’d seen Sirqus Alfon me, (ex)boyfriend and Poi Girl went to Subway to eat something. There we talked a bit about Poi Girl’s birthday and the show. I helped her fix one, maybe two, DJs (she wants to host a rave-party). She also decided to tag along to see Sirqus Alfon again, this time from the beginning^^

That means she’s meeting my mum and my aunt. (ex)boyfriend thought it would be fun if she introduced herself as my girlfriend xD That would be kinda fun, even though my mum isn’t very homophobic. She did say that her “veranda-policy”* was equal opportunity when I met up with a girl I’d met on the queer community site xD

*When I was about forteen I asked my mum how she’d react if I got a boyfriend. She said she’d be sitting on the veranda with a sawed-off shotgun. This is now an inside family joke. When I did bring home a boyfriend at eightteen my mum loved him and there were no weapons anywhere close to home^^

No?

They are teaching us not to take no for an answer, that if people say no they just need some more convincing and in the end everyone really wants what we got to offer.

I think some rapists would make really good telemarketers xD