Category: Sexuality


I have a bunch of rules when it comes to sex. I don’t have sex without condoms. I don’t sleep with complete strangers. I don’t have sex with people who are too old or too young. I don’t have sex with people who are in monogamous relationships (unless it’s a relationship with me that is xD). I only do stuff if it’s exactly what I wanna do right now, right here. That last part has led to a few instances where I was a bit unsure, didn’t have sex that night but had sex the next morning. I only have sex with people I trust to respect a no. This means that if a potential partner ignores some small thing I’m uncomfortable with I will not have sex with that person. I won’t sleep with someone if they make me feel like a second choice. I won’t sleep with someone if I’d rather have sex with someone else.

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Sex Ed in Sweden is not all about abstinence. Depending on the teacher it can even be really good. In the US it’s apparently really common that sex ed is some variation of “If you have sex before marriage you’re ruined FOREVER, will get PREGNANT, will get A LOT OF STDs and will DIE ALONE!”

I found this article on SparkLife and thought it was pretty good actually. There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. I didn’t have sex ’till I was seventeen and I’m happy that I didn’t do anything before that. I don’t like calling it abstinence though. Celibacy is a much better word according to me.

The thing is, if you try to scare kids out of having sex it’s not gonna work. If what they’ve heard is that “OMG YOU’RE GONNA DIE IF YOU HAVE SEX!” and some of their friends are sexually active without anything bad happening them…Well, what’s there to say that there really is a risk at all? Comprehensive sex ed is way better since it teaches the kids what they need to know to really minimise the risks from sex.

Today would’ve been our third anniversary had we not stopped dating sometimes in August. Sometimes I wish it had worked out better… For most of the time together I was really happy. Sometimes I think about going back, but I know that would never work out. Sooner or later I’d feel trapped and want out again.

Sometimes it’s like I only remember all the good parts of our time together. When it’s like that I really wanna go back. Then I remember all the stuff that never would’ve happened if I hadn’t been single and realise I don’t really wanna go back to something monogamous I just want him.

Raven turned 22 yesterday. I tagged along with him and a friend to a pub where we spent several hours talking about pretty much everything. We discussed everything from politics to rape to school to Iceland to sexual orientations and religion. Was pretty fun :D

When the pub closed and we got kicked out I couldn’t be bothered to check on when the trains home went, so I ended up staying the night with Raven. When we got back to his place we watched Blazing Saddles. I laughed so much I nearly fell off the couch. After the movie we were both getting tired so we went to bed.

Once in bed one thing led to another and he went down on me. After he got me off I was kinda wiped out.
“I feel really selfish now…” I said.
“Why?” he asked. “You don’t have the energy to do anything?”
But as usual with orgasm-induced sleepiness if I stay awake for a few minutes I find the energy to do stuff. And going down on Raven is pretty fun^^ I love how he really shows that he enjoys it… We’ve pretty much ended up having sex every time I’ve spent the night (apart from Halloween, but then I was on my period and blood stains are a bitch to get out)

Vibrator

I bought my first vibrator today ^^ So worth the 229SEK it costed me xD

Thursday was both Black Lotus’ and Frog’s birthday. On Friday we threw a surprise party for Black Lotus. On Saturday both of them were going clubbing so I didn’t know whos party to go to. I texted a bit with Cute Geek (who’s really good friends with Black Lotus) and some of the things he said made me kinda pissed off and worried that he was jealous. I don’t do jealousy!

Anyway, since I’d been to Black Lotus’ surprise party I decided to go to Frog’s party. I had a lot of fun there, when I wasn’t thinking about Cute Geek’s maybe-jealousy. After a while we headed out to a club and a while after we got there I spotted Black Lotus and his friends too! Both groups of people ended up at the same place :D

My only worry was that Cute Geek would get hurt or that I wouldn’t know what to do with both guys I’m seeing right now at the same place. Cute Geek wasn’t with Black Lotus though… And they didn’t even know if he was going to show up. So I had a lot of fun dancing and drinking and making out and stuff like that ^^

Then Cute Geek showed up and was super drunk. Drunk enough to be really annoying and kinda clingy. So I kinda avoided him a bit to be honest. Usually I really like that guy, yesterday I was mostly just annoyed.

I went home with Frog, and we were supposed to just sleep but of course we ended up having sex. We pretty much always have sex when we see each other. The only times we haven’t had sex has been when we’ve been in public and once we came close anyway xD

This morning I got a text from Cute Geek saying sorry, and on my way home from Frog we talked on the phone and I told him why I was annoyed. He said that he hadn’t been jealous, but I’m not completely sure I believe him ><

About an hour ago someone rand my door bell and when I opened the door there was a vodka bottle with water and a rose in it. Attached to the rose was a card saying “[Mortality], Sorry”. When I looked out on the street I saw a car I recognised as his leaving.

Paul says (11:54):
the thing is i like you.. and i was only with you till this weekend when i gave up the thought that you were gonna be only with me
but.. it doesn’t matter if i’m with other people, it’s still hard hearing about how you see other guys
guess you could call it jelousy

Mortality says (11:55):
i didn’t have sex with anyone else ’till i got those texts actually
Paul says (11:55):
feels too late to be “just friends”
Mortality says (11:55):
ok
Paul says (11:56):
was it because of the texts or would you have anyway?
Mortality says (11:56):
i don’t know
Paul says (11:56):
ok
Mortality says (11:56):
i’ve m made out with other people tho
Paul says (11:57):
yeh
but that doesn’t bother me
it’s a difference sleeping [as in sleeping not sex] with other guys

Mortality says (11:57):
just sleeping as in sleeping doesn’t mean sex in my world
Paul says (11:57):
it does in mine
Mortality says (11:58):
just cos i’ve spent the night with a guy friend doesn’t mean i’ve has sex with them
Paul says (11:58):
no, but it’s on the same level anyway
with or without sex, not that big of a difference

Mortality says (11:58):
to me it is
i have to many guy friends

Paul says (11:59):
nah >,<
but you don’t have to share a bed with them
i don’t share a bed with my guy friends
your guy friends aren’t just friends to you, they are a way to not be alone and a way to suck out closeness/love from them

Mortality says (12:00):
a lot of them are nothing more than friends
Paul says (12:00):
been there done that.. and i have a lot of friends who do the same
Mortality says (12:00):
i just happen to like hugs and cuddling
Paul says (12:00):
that’s what i meant..
“hugs and cuddling”

Mortality says (12:00):
that means i like hugs, nothing more!
Paul says (12:01):
others call it “slutty” i call it a constant need of closeness.. you dull the loneliness with a lot of different guys you like to “cuddle with” and i smoke weed or get drunk instead… same same
Mortality says (12:01):
you know what?
i think it’s a good idea not to see each other anymore

Paul says (12:01):
true
Paul says (12:02):
delete from msn too?
Mortality says (12:02):
do that.. don’t think i want to talk to you again anyway… i just end up getting hurt
Paul says (12:02):
ok
take care..

And that is the last we said before deleting and blocking each other from our msn lists.