What do I want with my ex? I’m not completely sure… I know I love him. I know that I am in love with him. I know he loves me, but he is in love with someone else. And I wish he wasn’t. Hearing him talk about her hurts. I’m used to it being me he talked about that way. You know how people who are in love sound when they talk about the person they’re in love with… And I hate myself for being jealous.

I don’t want to be that person… That person who is head over heels for someone who doesn’t feel the same way. That person who is still crazy about her ex. That person who calls her ex, in the middle of the night, crying her eyes out cos she’s still in love with him. Makes me feel pathetic and like some psycho stalker ex.

I don’t know what exactly it is I want. I don’t really want to be part of a we… I just want to be with him. No labels, no rules… I don’t want to go back to how it was, I want something simple where the only thing that matters is that we care about each other.

I don’t know what I want, but I know what I can’t handle. I can’t handle being friends when I’m still in love with him. I can’t handle hearing him talk about her. I can’t handle thinking about him sleeping with her. I can’t handle the pain every time I think about him. And I highly doubt I can handle seeing him with her.