With the rapist only three clicks away on facebook I’ve started thinking about contacting him… I know it’s not a good idea, but I really want to know just what the heck he was thinking that week when i visited. What made him think that what he was doing was ok? What rationalisations did he make? Was it that I didn’t physically fight back? That I slept in the same bed as him? That I was drunk? That I was sad and needed “comforting”? What made him think that raping me was ok?

If I contact him, it would probably just make me feel worse… Maybe his good side will shine through and make me feel bad about being mad at him. Maybe he’ll be as abusive as that week I spent with him and blame me for being hurt. Maybe he won’t even care… I just don’t know.

With him being three clicks away from me, that makes me three clicks away from him. What if he contacs me? In one way that would be the easiest. That way I can maybe get my questions answered without actually contacting him…

Either way, I’m soooo looking forward to the day I get over him!

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