I’m starting to question pretty much every choice I’ve made the past two months… Everything I’ve chosen! And I hate it! Bloody hell! Why does everything have to be so hard!?!? Why can’t I just be happy with the way things are, or at the very least know what’s wrong so I can do something about it?

I need to get back in counselling but I won’t find a counsellor that will work for me. It’s too ingrained to pretend to be fine for me to open up so someone who isn’t a friend. And my friends can’t deal with it. They aren’t educated counsellors, all they can do is give me a hug or send one on MSN. Bloody hell!

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