There was this guy who I thought was really a nice guy, turns out he’s not. He’s an asshole. He dated this girl I know. And he was everything but a good boyfriend.
Lets start with the less than horrible things he did. When she did something that upset him (flirting a lot among other things) and his friends told her that it upset him he of course asked him if that was true. He said he didn’t mind when he hated how she behaved. If you are together with someone who does something that upsets you, TELL THEM! If it is something that the person you are dating isn’t willing to stop doing, break up.
Now I’ll move on to the things that made me think he was an asshole. She was a virgin when they got together. He wasn’t and he wanted sex to be part of their relationship. I don’t think she was ready for that, but I don’t really know.
The first time they had “sex” she was really ill and not really there. She had a fever and was pretty out of it. Does that seem like a considerate partner to you? To me this is rape.
He wanted to have anal sex, she didn’t. Do you think he just took her “no” and did other things? Nah, he pressured her. A lot. In the end she gave in and hated it. Hated every second of it. Does that seem like a considerate partner to you?
They eventually did break up. When her father died she turned to him for support. He came over and guess what he wanted? Sex. The day her father died. She wanted to get back together, so she thought sleeping with him would get him back…
He used her. He’d want sex and hinted on getting back together to get it. And later when she told him he’d used her he denied it. He so wants to see himself as a nice guy that he can’t own up to being a jerk. She imagined it, she over reacted, he didn’t do anything wrong.
Just cos she is easily manipulated (I know this from experience *embarrassed*) doesn’t make it all right to use her. Just cos she has so low self esteem that she’ll do anything to be liked doesn’t make it all right to ask things of her that she really doesn’t want.