I can’t deal with this. I’m too scared of telling anyone about what happened. Why? I’m scared people will blame me.  It’s bad enough that I blame myself, I do not need someone else doing it when I technically know it wasn’t my fault.

“Well, if she did get drunk on her own..”
This does not excuse what he did. He made me do something I did not want to do. It doesn’t matter if I was drunk or sober. In a way it makes it worse that I was drunk since it is a lot harder defending yourself then!

“I didn’t think much good would come out of you staying alone with a guy for a week.”
Well, he was my friend! One of my best! I trusted him… I hadn’t seen him in ages.

One of the reasons why I’m so scared of telling anyone who knows him is cos he acts really nice*. It was only that week I spent at his place were he acted like a complete jerk. Looking back, I think that the niceness was just a façade. I look back and it’s like he always was a jerk, just damn good at hiding it. Now that façade was shattered by the drugs he did**. So I think that the reason he was such an asshole was cos the withdrawal period just didn’t leave enough energy to pretend to be nice…

*Well most of the time. He is one of the few people I’ve been in a fist fight with. I won xD
**He’d been clean less than a month when I visited him, not sure what he’d done, but pretty much anything you could smoke.

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