Ian left a comment on a previous post:

I know I’ve gone this route before, but not so specifically. Have you ever considered that what you have been going though in the aftermath of this rape might be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? It is treatable through the right counselling, but it first has to be diagnosed. You do show some of its symptoms sometimes.

My first thought was that I can’t suffer from PTSD. That’s a disorder war veterans deal with, not me. Then a vague memory resurfaced. I’d read somewhere that rape survivors can suffer from it too.

So I googled the symptoms.

This is one of the articles I found.

  • Re-experiencing the trauma: flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories and exaggerated emotional and physical reactions to triggers that remind the person of the trauma.
  • Emotional numbing: feeling detached, lack of emotions (especially positive ones), loss of interest in activities
  • Avoidance: avoiding activities, people, or places that remind the person of the trauma
  • Increased arousal: difficulty sleeping and concentrating, irritability, hypervigilance (being on guard), and exaggerated startle response.

Re-experiencing the traumaCould say that. I don’t have nightmares about it though, the rest pretty much describes me.
Emotional numbingCould say that. But not enough to be a symptom I think
AvoidanceKinda, but not really.
Increased arousal– I’ve had difficulty sleeping my entire life. The exaggerated startle response pretty much describes me though, but I’ve been that way a long time as well.

Basically, I don’t really think it is PTSD, but I definitely do have a problem.