When is something considered rape?

According to this article on Scarleteen:
“If you have NOT gladly and freely consented to and participated in sexual activity — if you have not in some way said a big yes and wanted to keep saying a big yes — and someone else had sex with you anyway, that is rape.”

According to that definition I’ve been raped.

I don’t see it as rape. I see it as something else. I don’t see it as sex either, cos I didn’t really want to nor did he give a damn if wanted to or if I got any satisfation out of it. He treated me as one of those blow-up dolls. All for his own pleasure.

I didn’t want to blow him. I told him this when he tried to make me do it. When he’d pressured me enough to actually do it I said I couldn’t take it any deeper. He said there was this one thing called deepthroating, so me saying I couldn’t take it any deeper was just a lie.
I said I did not want him coming in my mouth and I did not want to swallow his cum. He said it was good for me to swallow. He said it would make me more beautiful, well, if I was beautiful to start with.

I still can’t call it rape, but I sure as hell can’t call it consentual sex either… So far I’ve only got one word for it; mistake. I big fat mistake that I haven’t yet gotten over. I still partially see it as my own fault. There are still a bunch of “What if”s floating around in my brain. What I couldn’ve done to prevent it.

A week of my life and the money for the ticket to visit him lost.
I wish it had never happened. That I turned around and went back home when I got that text from him. (Train was late, and I got a text saying something along the lines of: “Are you here soon? I’m not sure I’ll wait that much longer.”)

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