Raven’s Birthday

Raven turned 22 yesterday. I tagged along with him and a friend to a pub where we spent several hours talking about pretty much everything. We discussed everything from politics to rape to school to Iceland to sexual orientations and religion. Was pretty fun :D

When the pub closed and we got kicked out I couldn’t be bothered to check on when the trains home went, so I ended up staying the night with Raven. When we got back to his place we watched Blazing Saddles. I laughed so much I nearly fell off the couch. After the movie we were both getting tired so we went to bed.

Once in bed one thing led to another and he went down on me. After he got me off I was kinda wiped out.
“I feel really selfish now…” I said.
“Why?” he asked. “You don’t have the energy to do anything?”
But as usual with orgasm-induced sleepiness if I stay awake for a few minutes I find the energy to do stuff. And going down on Raven is pretty fun^^ I love how he really shows that he enjoys it… We’ve pretty much ended up having sex every time I’ve spent the night (apart from Halloween, but then I was on my period and blood stains are a bitch to get out)

Halloween the Longer Version

I’d promised Green Fairy that I’d get some pictures of the Halloween outfit for her. She helped me out A LOT. There would be no awesome outfit without her :D So I texted Raven, who works as a photographer and asked him if he could help me out. He said he’d be happy to help me out ^^

At first I pretty much just looked like a deer caught in headlights on all the pics. Then Raven put on som Günther music and acted really silly so I just started laughing a lot. We got some pretty good pictures :)

At the party later that night I had a lot of fun ’till Frog got me bit too drunk. I left a bit early and ended up watching a movie and discussion religion and politics with Raven ^^

So all in all I had a great night :D

School

I’m back from school. Today consisted of two two.hour-lessons one after the other. So basically a four hour lesson. Then I found some of my “kids”, among them Raven. I ended spending four more hours alternating between studying, helping Raven and one more of my “kids” with their school-work and just talking. We had a pretty good discussion on rape and the legal aspect of the rape laws in Sweden.

When it comes to rape and other sex crimes I like Raven’s opinions and thoughts. How often do you hear a guy talking about how society is pretty patriarchal and that the only ones who can stop rape is other men? Usually when I discuss rape and stuff like that and it’s me and two guys those two will “gang up” on me. Today it was me and Raven “ganging up” on the other guy xD

The other guy said something about how people make it about gender when the criminals are individuals or something like that… Both me and Raven said that rape is more than just the individual crimes committed by individual rapists against individual victims. It’s bigger than that. It’s how this society is formed.

I so have a crush on Raven xD

Not a Good Idea Right Now

Raven is smart, good looking, funny, and when I told him about a guy who tried to kiss me and said something about it not being that bad… Can you guess what he said?

Invading personal space is invading personal space!

I haven’t heard him say one victim blaming thing when it comes to stuff like rape and sexual assault. The way he talks about sex and sexuality in general makes me wanna jump him. No victim blaming, no power tripping, no “getting some” when he talks about having sex with someone. According to him sex is a great when shared.

Oh, and to top it of he’s half icelandic! That’s fucken awesome!

This is so a guy I could fall seriously in love with.

Idiot Prosecutor

There is a prosecutor who works in Stockholm. Last weekend he said that “If you take a man and a woman who know each other and the woman says she doesn’t feel like it today and the man goes on anyway. Sure, it’s not very nice but not worth two years in prison”*

This he said in an interview with one of Sweden’s biggest newspapers, Svenska Dagbladet. He also said in a debate article last Wednesday that “Not having intercourse with someone against their will is an excellent social rule, but it fits more in a book on etiquette than in a law book.”**

So according to him my rapist was just “not very nice”. According to him my rapist was just a bit of a jerk, but not a criminal. More of the “is it really worth ruining the poor boy’s life over something like this”.

Thankfully his boss has some common sense so this idiot, Rolf Hillegren, is no longer allowed to have anything to do with with this kind of crime again.

*My translation. “Om man tar en man och en kvinna som känner varandraoch kvinnan säger att hon inte har lust idag, men mannen kör ändå. Visst är det oschysst, men inte värt två års fängelse. Det liknar mer en ordningsförseelse.” Two years is the minimum sentence for rape in Sweden.

**”Att inte ha samlag mot någons vilja är en utmärkt umgängesregel som dock passar bättre i etikettböcker än i lagböcker.”

Gynaecologist

I went to see a gynaecologist today. First he asked me a couple of questions. Like what were my symptoms? (some irritation when peeing and pain in the lower back where it hurts during my period, my grandmother said it could be something with the ovaries), had I ever been pregnant? (no!), what had I been tested for so? far (UTI and chlamydia, both negative), was I on the Pill (nope, side effects didn’t agree with me), didn’t I use any contraceptive!?! (ehm, what?), oh, do you use condoms? (yeah…).

What’s with the assumed heterosexuality? And why assume that all women in fertile age who don’t want to be pregnant will be on the Pill? I was thisclose to saying that I only sleep with women actually xD

He didn’t find anything that explained my symptoms, but he found what it is that’s causing my irregular period. He looked at my ovaries and saw a lot of something that I don’t know the English word for (“äggblåsor”) and said it looked a bit like PCO, but not enough to give a diagnosis. But I might have trouble conceiving when/if I want kids.

You’re not funny, asshole!

“Women have 80% of the mens’ wages. Isn’t that enough? Do you want 100% plus your own wage?”

I was scrolling down facebooks main page when I stumbled upon this status message (or “what’s on your mind” as it says -.-) from a guy from school. Not funny.

*sigh*

Marriage

If I ever get married it will be to a woman.

Privilege

I’m cis, white, middle class and able bodied. I’m also female and non-straight. The non-straight part don’t show up that much, even though I consider myself out. I’m female in the lest unequal country in the world according to some list (Sweden) so I don’t get mistreated as much as a lot of other women across the world do. If I get pregnant and don’t want to be it wouldn’t be a problem for me to get an abortion. I won’t get asked why I want it, I’ll get asked if Monday 2 o’clock is a good time or if I prefer Tuesday morning.

I can ignore trans issues and it won’t really affect my life. I can be completely ignorant about racial issues and just cos I’m not joining white supremacist groups I’m seen as a nice little white girl. That I can spell my name in sign language is always seen as a very positive thing when I meat deaf people. That I acknowledge that I had it easier than they did makes people from other socio-economic classes less lucky than me see me as a good person. Or at least heaps better than those crazy right-wing people who thinks being poor means that you’re lazy and if we just spent less money on welfare they’d go out and get a better paying job.

That’s all privilege and I guess I’m pretty lucky with the where, when and to whom I was born.

Diamond

I just watched Blood Diamond. It’s horrible! I hope I never realise why people are willing to kill for money…

(ex)boyfriend called me…I told him I’d just watched Blood Diamond.

“You know that ring you gave me…?”

“Yeah…?” he said.

“Do you know where the diamonds came from?”

“No, since I was told it was cubic zircone I have no idea where they are from,” he told me.

“Ok….?” he must’ve sensed that his answer did not make me feel better.

“I highly doubt they are conflict diamns though,” he tried to reassure me. “Those are mostly sold on the black market and even blood diamonds are more expensive than cubic zircone”

Lyrics

A band with lyrics such as these  (BTW, those lines could be about reproductive rights in the US. At least in the crazy, pro-life, bible-thumping, republican places of the US):

Another tragedy in the news
Someone shooting down the right to choose
It doesn’t seem at all that they chose the right way
Another law I heard got passed today
Someone’s trying to take my rights away
It doesn’t seem to me they chose the right way
It’s out of my hands but stuck in my mind in time I find my spine
is crooked in design I want to be so much more

And who end another song with these stats:

According the department of justice
One out of five american women are victims of rape
Or sexual assult in their lifetime
25 percent of women report that they have been assualted
Or raped by their current or former partner
25 percent of students have been vistims of a violent crime
That took place in or around their school
8 hundred thousand sixth to twelth grade students
Carried a gun to their school last year
What’s going on?

And who have really good music to acompany the lyrics… Well, then can be nothing short of awesome! I think I have a crush on Zebrahead…

Thread

This thread over at Scarleteen made me think a bit. I wonder what the best way to deal with rape-apologists would be. I tend to deal with rape apologists by getting mad… Not sure if that’s a good way or not.

When I get comments from people excusing some kinds of rape I don’t let that comment through my moderation queue. If the comment is short and ignorant and clearly just out to get me mad I just delete it and forget about it. If the commenter is ignorant and thinks they are helping me I tend to write a long rambling post in reply to tell them exactly why they are wrong.

How do you deal with those idiots?

Protection Against Discrimination

From January 1st 2009 people who don’t fit into the female/male or feminine/masculine binary (like trans gender, inter sex people, transvestites and others) will be protected against discrimination in ten different areas in the society. Among them are at school, application precesses to schools, at work, and hiring processes for jobs.

This is both good news and bad news. The good news is that they get protection against discrimination by the law and the bad news is that it took the government this long to grant them those basic human rights. Seriously, what took them this long?

“Lesser Battery”

Apparently the wittneses were too far away to be reliable when it came to the dragging-her-along-in-her-hair. They could’ve “seen wrong”. That some of her injuries would be impossible for her to give herself? Doesn’t matter.

Sentence? Fines.

And the Swedish court system is generally more progressive than anywhere else… I really don’t want to know how bad it is around the globe. I really hate to have to put this in the “Just another day” category…

What the Fuck?

Read this! Some dude finds out his girlfriend is trans and goes on to beat her up and the article only mentions the guy’s “humiliation” -.- What the fuck is wrong with this world?