Side effects

I’ve been more moodswingy than normal this past week or so thanks to the stupid pill I had to take. Stupid hormones… Not only did it mess with my emotions I also started bleeding a week and a half after my last period ended >< And I’m still bleeding! It’s not fair!

Three Years

Today would’ve been our third anniversary had we not stopped dating sometimes in August. Sometimes I wish it had worked out better… For most of the time together I was really happy. Sometimes I think about going back, but I know that would never work out. Sooner or later I’d feel trapped and want out again.

Sometimes it’s like I only remember all the good parts of our time together. When it’s like that I really wanna go back. Then I remember all the stuff that never would’ve happened if I hadn’t been single and realise I don’t really wanna go back to something monogamous I just want him.

Weekend

On Friday morning I took the biggest exam I’ve taken. To pass it I have to reach a certain level on each question. The exam consisted of five questions. Question four was on something (företagshypotek for anyone who knows Swedish) I hadn’t studied at all. The first time I actually looked on the law regulating that area was during the exam. I was not alone. From what I’ve heard from my classmates more than half of us might fail.

So when I was headed to the party the Social Committee was throwing for us who’d taken the exam my plan was to get seriously wasted. And wasted I did get. Very much so even. Wasted enough to make out with my ex boyfriend. Wasted enough to wake up with scratch marks all over my arms with no clue where they came from. They don’t look like marks from someone’s nails though… I got wasted enough that Frog didn’t want to make out with me cos he didn’t wanna risk doing anything I would regret. Frog normally has trouble keeping his hands off of me…

The day after we were initiating new people into the Social Committee. Raven was one of the people getting initiated :) I got initiated about a month and a half ago, but the same night something else happened so I didn’t write much about it.

Anyway, I’ve never been so hungover in my life as I was yesterday… It was worse than the day after my initiation. It was worse than the day after I graduated High School… Worse than any time I can remember >< Which everyone else thought was really fun for some reason xD

I was going to go to another party the same night, but halfway there the friend I was gonna meet up said that she was going home. So I also left, and ended up going to Raven’s place^^ This night I wasn’t too drunk to consent to sex (A)

Raven’s Birthday

Raven turned 22 yesterday. I tagged along with him and a friend to a pub where we spent several hours talking about pretty much everything. We discussed everything from politics to rape to school to Iceland to sexual orientations and religion. Was pretty fun :D

When the pub closed and we got kicked out I couldn’t be bothered to check on when the trains home went, so I ended up staying the night with Raven. When we got back to his place we watched Blazing Saddles. I laughed so much I nearly fell off the couch. After the movie we were both getting tired so we went to bed.

Once in bed one thing led to another and he went down on me. After he got me off I was kinda wiped out.
“I feel really selfish now…” I said.
“Why?” he asked. “You don’t have the energy to do anything?”
But as usual with orgasm-induced sleepiness if I stay awake for a few minutes I find the energy to do stuff. And going down on Raven is pretty fun^^ I love how he really shows that he enjoys it… We’ve pretty much ended up having sex every time I’ve spent the night (apart from Halloween, but then I was on my period and blood stains are a bitch to get out)

Hopefully Gone

I just took the last of the pills I got to get rid of the chlamydia. In three weeks or so I’ll get tested again to make sure I really got rid of the infection. It would suck if I just assumed that I’d gotten rid of it and somehow the antibiotics didn’t work. Would hate to accidentaly infect someone >< or someone more in case I did infect someone before I found out I had it… Even though I think I got it from Frog it could’ve been the other way around. Worst case I got it from Batman and in that case I’ve had it since may-ish.

Celibacy

I was talking to Frog yesterday… Both of us have to be celibate for the ten days we are on antibiotics. It’s actually illegal for me to do anything with anyone that could risk spreading the infection xD So I said that I was thinking about celibacy for a longer time than that.. Cos I don’t wanna get another infection. Next time it could be something much worse than chlamydia.

“As long as you make an exception for me,” Frog said.
“Well, that depends on you,” I said. If I didn’t sleep with anyone but him and he continued sleeping around I wouldn’t lower the risk.
“You know what that would mean?” Frog asked me.
“Monogamy” I said.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa” we both went.
“That’s so not baby steps,” Frog said.

Then I started thinking about requiring all potential partners to test negative first. Frog figured out that would mean two weeks of celibacy after every time he slept with someone else than me, so he said if that was the case he could just be monogamous anyway… xD

Anyway, for now we have a bet. The first person who has any kind of  sex (even oral, manual and solo) loses. The loser has to ask permission from the other person if they wanna do anything sexual with anyone (including making out). If we lose by sleeping with each other both have to ask permission xD I’m so no losing xD Frog said he thought about losing on purpose just to see how mean I would be :P

Reactions

On my way to pick up my medicine for the chlamydia I sent out a text to everyone I’ve slept with since my last negative test. This are some of the reactions I got:

Batman: Fuuuuu!! (very mature don’t you think? Idiot…)
Emo Boy: Don’t you always use condoms?
Paul: Ok. Thanks for the info.
E: Wow, not fun fo you :-/ i got tested two months ago and was negative, so I should be ok :) (I haven’t written about when I had sex with him here… It was just two days before the accident with the condom. It was a threesome with us two and my ex :D)
Raven: : /
My ex: get well soon and I hope your day gets better after a morning like this. It could be worse, you could’ve been pregnant too ;)
Cute Geek: Fuuuuuuuccckkkkk!!! (He’s never been tested and had been hoping I would test negative so he would’t have to get teste)

Frog was there when I got the call and he just laughed.. Then he apologised xD He’s the most likely source for this infection xD

fuckfuckfuck

I tested positive >< Fucken great…

I was there to tell them all the people I’ve slept with since I got tested the last time… Was about seven and I had names and phone numbers and addresses and birthdays for pretty much all of them xD Oh, and I had been really good with condoms too. The nurse said that I had been really unlucky ><

The Talk

I had “the talk” with Frog this weekend. The “what are we to each other” and “where are we headed”.

None of us are ready for relationships. None of us are completely over our exes. Both of us have some trouble with monogamy (me more than him though, he’s said that he could be monogamous but for him to be that it would have to be mutual or else he might get jealous).

Oh, and labels scare us both.. so we’ll go on like we’ve done so far ^^

Shoping with the ex

I was supposed to help ex-boyfriend with his Halloween-outfit today, we ended up fixing both his and mine ^^ He’ll be an emo xD I think that’s so funny! I helped him find a My Chemical Romance band t-shirt, fake piercings so he can get a snakebite and some other stuff xD I think he’ll be really cute as an emo ^^

I’m gonna be a fairy/pixie/something. I’ve got a cute dress, wings and glittery hairspray ^^ I’m gonna have the same shoes I had when I graduated and some other stuff like flowers in my hair or something ^^ I’m actually getting exited ^^ Frog said it didn’t matter what I wore as long as it was short xD I don’t think he’s ever seen me in a skirt before. I think I might be falling a bit for that guy :$

All in all I had a great time with ex-boyfriend^^ I think this friend thing might actually work out :D That would be awesome! You can’t be together with someone for two and a half years and not want to stay in touch. I still love that guy a lot even if I don’t want to get back together with him…

Fuck Her

I never really liked the girl my ex was dating from what I could see. She seemed like a total bitch. At first I thought it was mostly in my head cos she was dating my ex… Then I saw some comments she made on a friend of mines blog… Something about how rape victims just need to get over it and get on with their lives. When called out on it she said that she was a victim herself but had gotten on with her life. From there on I thought that she must be nice in person cos why would he date her if she was a total bitch?

Last night she pretty much dumped him over MSN. She said that he was mean and cold and boring and not spontaneous  some other stuff… I saw his facebook status. She had commented on it saying something like “you know you’re not spontaneous and you never joke or show feelings.. what are you whining about?”

Daisy had also commented something about how she didn’t agree and thought he was a funny and stuff. Then this girl he’d been dating commented again saying “no, he is very cold and boring!” When Daisy asked why she was saying that this girl left  comment saying that he was never showing his feelings, and never joked and how he was just spinning things to make her look bad.

Yeah, I don’t feel like a jealous ex for being pissed at her anymore.

Birthday x2 + some drama

Thursday was both Black Lotus’ and Frog’s birthday. On Friday we threw a surprise party for Black Lotus. On Saturday both of them were going clubbing so I didn’t know whos party to go to. I texted a bit with Cute Geek (who’s really good friends with Black Lotus) and some of the things he said made me kinda pissed off and worried that he was jealous. I don’t do jealousy!

Anyway, since I’d been to Black Lotus’ surprise party I decided to go to Frog’s party. I had a lot of fun there, when I wasn’t thinking about Cute Geek’s maybe-jealousy. After a while we headed out to a club and a while after we got there I spotted Black Lotus and his friends too! Both groups of people ended up at the same place :D

My only worry was that Cute Geek would get hurt or that I wouldn’t know what to do with both guys I’m seeing right now at the same place. Cute Geek wasn’t with Black Lotus though… And they didn’t even know if he was going to show up. So I had a lot of fun dancing and drinking and making out and stuff like that ^^

Then Cute Geek showed up and was super drunk. Drunk enough to be really annoying and kinda clingy. So I kinda avoided him a bit to be honest. Usually I really like that guy, yesterday I was mostly just annoyed.

I went home with Frog, and we were supposed to just sleep but of course we ended up having sex. We pretty much always have sex when we see each other. The only times we haven’t had sex has been when we’ve been in public and once we came close anyway xD

This morning I got a text from Cute Geek saying sorry, and on my way home from Frog we talked on the phone and I told him why I was annoyed. He said that he hadn’t been jealous, but I’m not completely sure I believe him ><

About an hour ago someone rand my door bell and when I opened the door there was a vodka bottle with water and a rose in it. Attached to the rose was a card saying “[Mortality], Sorry”. When I looked out on the street I saw a car I recognised as his leaving.

I miss her so much…

I miss Ninja sooo much >< I just wanna hop on a plane to Australia !

Boom!

Yesterday I made fire crackers with Cute Geek. It was AWESOME!!! :D I love fire and explosions ^^

Choices

I really like Cute Geek. A lot even… I could really fall hard for that guy. The thing is, the better I get to know Frog the more I like him. And I can see both of them fitting into my life too. When I’m with Cute Geek I can see us ending up together. When I hand out with Frog I feel the same way about him too! And when I’m alone I’m fine being all flirty and stuff…

What’s a girl to do?