Exam coming up ><

Got an exam soonish >< *panics*

Celibacy

I was talking to Frog yesterday… Both of us have to be celibate for the ten days we are on antibiotics. It’s actually illegal for me to do anything with anyone that could risk spreading the infection xD So I said that I was thinking about celibacy for a longer time than that.. Cos I don’t wanna get another infection. Next time it could be something much worse than chlamydia.

“As long as you make an exception for me,” Frog said.
“Well, that depends on you,” I said. If I didn’t sleep with anyone but him and he continued sleeping around I wouldn’t lower the risk.
“You know what that would mean?” Frog asked me.
“Monogamy” I said.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa” we both went.
“That’s so not baby steps,” Frog said.

Then I started thinking about requiring all potential partners to test negative first. Frog figured out that would mean two weeks of celibacy after every time he slept with someone else than me, so he said if that was the case he could just be monogamous anyway… xD

Anyway, for now we have a bet. The first person who has any kind of  sex (even oral, manual and solo) loses. The loser has to ask permission from the other person if they wanna do anything sexual with anyone (including making out). If we lose by sleeping with each other both have to ask permission xD I’m so no losing xD Frog said he thought about losing on purpose just to see how mean I would be :P

Reactions

On my way to pick up my medicine for the chlamydia I sent out a text to everyone I’ve slept with since my last negative test. This are some of the reactions I got:

Batman: Fuuuuu!! (very mature don’t you think? Idiot…)
Emo Boy: Don’t you always use condoms?
Paul: Ok. Thanks for the info.
E: Wow, not fun fo you :-/ i got tested two months ago and was negative, so I should be ok :) (I haven’t written about when I had sex with him here… It was just two days before the accident with the condom. It was a threesome with us two and my ex :D)
Raven: : /
My ex: get well soon and I hope your day gets better after a morning like this. It could be worse, you could’ve been pregnant too ;)
Cute Geek: Fuuuuuuuccckkkkk!!! (He’s never been tested and had been hoping I would test negative so he would’t have to get teste)

Frog was there when I got the call and he just laughed.. Then he apologised xD He’s the most likely source for this infection xD

The Talk

I had “the talk” with Frog this weekend. The “what are we to each other” and “where are we headed”.

None of us are ready for relationships. None of us are completely over our exes. Both of us have some trouble with monogamy (me more than him though, he’s said that he could be monogamous but for him to be that it would have to be mutual or else he might get jealous).

Oh, and labels scare us both.. so we’ll go on like we’ve done so far ^^

Safe

Right now I don’t feel completely safe with Frog. He says that he likes me “maybe a bit too much” but he isn’t very good at showing it. He also doesn’t notice when he’s pushing my boundaries until he’s crossed them and I get pissed off.

So I’m going to talk to him about it, and if it doesn’t get better I’m not gonna see him as much. If he can’t respect me and my boundaries it doesn’t matter how much fun we have at other times.

Paul Again

Paul texted me last night and wanted to get back in touch…..

Fuck!

This guy showed up under “suggestions” on facebook. Apparently we have 26 friends in common on facebook. ><

Shoping with the ex

I was supposed to help ex-boyfriend with his Halloween-outfit today, we ended up fixing both his and mine ^^ He’ll be an emo xD I think that’s so funny! I helped him find a My Chemical Romance band t-shirt, fake piercings so he can get a snakebite and some other stuff xD I think he’ll be really cute as an emo ^^

I’m gonna be a fairy/pixie/something. I’ve got a cute dress, wings and glittery hairspray ^^ I’m gonna have the same shoes I had when I graduated and some other stuff like flowers in my hair or something ^^ I’m actually getting exited ^^ Frog said it didn’t matter what I wore as long as it was short xD I don’t think he’s ever seen me in a skirt before. I think I might be falling a bit for that guy :$

All in all I had a great time with ex-boyfriend^^ I think this friend thing might actually work out :D That would be awesome! You can’t be together with someone for two and a half years and not want to stay in touch. I still love that guy a lot even if I don’t want to get back together with him…

Fuck Her

I never really liked the girl my ex was dating from what I could see. She seemed like a total bitch. At first I thought it was mostly in my head cos she was dating my ex… Then I saw some comments she made on a friend of mines blog… Something about how rape victims just need to get over it and get on with their lives. When called out on it she said that she was a victim herself but had gotten on with her life. From there on I thought that she must be nice in person cos why would he date her if she was a total bitch?

Last night she pretty much dumped him over MSN. She said that he was mean and cold and boring and not spontaneous  some other stuff… I saw his facebook status. She had commented on it saying something like “you know you’re not spontaneous and you never joke or show feelings.. what are you whining about?”

Daisy had also commented something about how she didn’t agree and thought he was a funny and stuff. Then this girl he’d been dating commented again saying “no, he is very cold and boring!” When Daisy asked why she was saying that this girl left  comment saying that he was never showing his feelings, and never joked and how he was just spinning things to make her look bad.

Yeah, I don’t feel like a jealous ex for being pissed at her anymore.

Birthday x2 + some drama

Thursday was both Black Lotus’ and Frog’s birthday. On Friday we threw a surprise party for Black Lotus. On Saturday both of them were going clubbing so I didn’t know whos party to go to. I texted a bit with Cute Geek (who’s really good friends with Black Lotus) and some of the things he said made me kinda pissed off and worried that he was jealous. I don’t do jealousy!

Anyway, since I’d been to Black Lotus’ surprise party I decided to go to Frog’s party. I had a lot of fun there, when I wasn’t thinking about Cute Geek’s maybe-jealousy. After a while we headed out to a club and a while after we got there I spotted Black Lotus and his friends too! Both groups of people ended up at the same place :D

My only worry was that Cute Geek would get hurt or that I wouldn’t know what to do with both guys I’m seeing right now at the same place. Cute Geek wasn’t with Black Lotus though… And they didn’t even know if he was going to show up. So I had a lot of fun dancing and drinking and making out and stuff like that ^^

Then Cute Geek showed up and was super drunk. Drunk enough to be really annoying and kinda clingy. So I kinda avoided him a bit to be honest. Usually I really like that guy, yesterday I was mostly just annoyed.

I went home with Frog, and we were supposed to just sleep but of course we ended up having sex. We pretty much always have sex when we see each other. The only times we haven’t had sex has been when we’ve been in public and once we came close anyway xD

This morning I got a text from Cute Geek saying sorry, and on my way home from Frog we talked on the phone and I told him why I was annoyed. He said that he hadn’t been jealous, but I’m not completely sure I believe him ><

About an hour ago someone rand my door bell and when I opened the door there was a vodka bottle with water and a rose in it. Attached to the rose was a card saying “[Mortality], Sorry”. When I looked out on the street I saw a car I recognised as his leaving.

I miss her so much…

I miss Ninja sooo much >< I just wanna hop on a plane to Australia !

Failure

This is the second time I experience condom failure.  This time the condom slipped out and we were too drunk to notice it at first. Frog tagged along to the pharmacy to get Plan B and he also paid  half :)

I freaked out less than last time, even though I actually had a bigger risk this time. Last time the guy didn’t come and I was just about to get my period. Since my period is irregular I have no idea when I’m ovulating, but it could be like now or in the next week or so…

Anyway, two week from now I’m getting a pregnancy test ^^

Choices

I really like Cute Geek. A lot even… I could really fall hard for that guy. The thing is, the better I get to know Frog the more I like him. And I can see both of them fitting into my life too. When I’m with Cute Geek I can see us ending up together. When I hand out with Frog I feel the same way about him too! And when I’m alone I’m fine being all flirty and stuff…

What’s a girl to do?

Crazy Weekend!

Thursday: I was working at a dinner party with 69 guests. Setting up tables, serving food (thankfully I didn’t have to help out with the dishes <3) After the dinner it was a regular pub/party/not sure what to call it. I was in the bar or running around picking up empty bottles and glasses. Lot’s of running around and getting hit on by waay too drunk customers. Actually had a lot of fun ^^ But was soo tired when I got home. School had started at 9AM, I started working ~5PM and got home at 4AM.

Friday: Clubbing with Ninja and Cute Geek. We also picked up a day after pill for Ninja. On the way there we decided to get married on facebook :D I love that girl! I’m missing her so much already…. So anyway, since I was married Cute Geek had to ask permission to kiss me xD Ninja said it was fine as long as I kissed her too every time I kissed him. So I pretty much got a lot of kisses that night ^^ Oh, and Cute Geek can DANCE! How did I miss that? I have been out with him before… I think I’m falling for him actually :$ Not sure if that’s a good idea or not.

Saturday: I was the guest at a dinner party thingy similar to the one where I’d worked on Thursday. I got too drunk during the dinner but sobered up a bit after ^^ Met a bunch of new people and had a lot of fun ^^ I also made out with one of the guys working xD I started talking to him at some point and we danced a bit on his “break” (he just took one xD).

He saw my ring* and asked if I was engaged. I told him that I’m not engaged but if an annoying guy hits on me I might pretend I am. He took that to mean that I didn’t think he was annoying. Then his boss came and told him to get back to work. Right before he left he kissed me. Later that night he pretty much pulled me away from my friends and pushed me up against a door and kissed me.

“Hey, you’re pretty drunk.. Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” he said after a minute or so. He was sober and I was definitely not sober.
“I’m not too drunk to know what I’m doing,” I said and kissed him. He got my number and we’re planning on meeting up sometime next week ^^ If I see him again he’ll get a name here, and I have the perfect one :D

*I have a very pretty white gold and diamond ring that looks a bit like an engagement ring.

Best Text Ever

From Ninja today:

Hey baby. Thank you for being you. For having ben there through my ups and downs. Listening to me go on and on about everything under the sun. Thank you for giving me butterflies, for your sweet lemon dextro energy kisses. Your love, laughter and stunning personality. Having you as a best friend is something to cherish and take pride off. Thanks you thank you for letting me be such a big part of your life. I leave my heart with you here in sweden…Well whats left of it anyways. I love you my beautiful. Missing you already. Dont you ever dare to change, you are perfect in every way, baby.

I’m gonna miss her like crazy!!! Fuck I love that girl!