Halloween!

It’s Halloween today!! :D I’m going clubbing tonight and can’t decide if I wanna dress up as a vanpire or a witch… I have everything I need for both outfits^^

Anyways, I hope I have fun tonight :D

Tagged

So once again I got tagged^^

Where Would Your 8 Homes Be?

List them. You don’t have to list your reasons, but if you do at least for a few of them, it would be more fun. And remember that the only rule is: the homes must be within the borders of the United States of America or else, within the borders of the country you live in, so as to utterly emulate the McCains. When you’re done, tag 8 people, so that they may join in the self-indulgence, forgetting about the crappy property market and the equivalent of The End of Pompeii on Wall-Street. You could spend your time hammering your doors and windows shut in preparation for the apocalypse instead, but it would be much less fun.

Can I go with places both in the US of A and Sweden?

1. I’d want a nice apartment on Södermalm in Stockholm. Preferably close to Slussen and Stockholms Södra. That way I’m close to the subway and the commuter trains. And Söder is a really nice part of Stockholm ^^
2. Helsingborg or Malmö. I have a lot of friends in south Sweden. And both Malmö and Helsingborg are close to Denmark so I could maybe go visit my half-brother^^
3. A nice place in Göteborg that I could give to my mother. She really loves that town and I suspect she’ll always count it as home.
4. [Old Hometown], so I can be close to the majority of my friends.
5. New York. I’ve never been there and it’s supposed to be a really cool city :)
6. Los Angeles, just to be able to visit some of my online friends.
7. Vacation place with an ocean view somewhere nice and sunny and hurricane-free :D
8. Right where I am living now :)

If you read this and have a blog, consider youself tagged :)

Seriously, WTF?!?

This guy got too much free time:

One Step Forward

The would-be rapist from this weekend called me the day before yesterday:

“Hey, how are you?” he asked me.

-I’m ok

“I think I just got sober today (insert small laugh), how long did it take you to sober up?”

-I was sober last Friday (said in my annoyed-but-not-yet-angry-voice

“Oh, poor you had to babysit me…”

-Yeah, poor me had to babysit some idiot guy who couldn’t take no for an answer! (said in the now-I’m-pissed-voice)

“Oh, yeah.. About that, I meant to appologise….”

-Well, you could’ve thought about that before you pushed me up against a fucking wall in bleeding Old Town, couldn’t you?

“Yeah… I’m sorry…”

-Bit late don’t you think?

“Well, I’ll just never be in touch again, happy now?”

-Yeah

(He hangs up)

So I confronted him, I told him exactly how pissed off I was (and if I didn’t do it with the words I used he certainly got the message… I more or less yelled at him) and I didn’t just take his appology. He didn’t really do that much damage, and if me yelling at him makes him never do something like that again it was worth it… I just don’t think a half-assed appology is enough to make me ever want to hang out with him again!

And I didn’t feel bad about yelling at him! That’s my step forward in this whole thing :) I tend to feel bad for everything I do that could maybe, potentially hurt someones’ feelings.

Rough Weekend

This weekend has been anything but relaxing.

Friday night I went out clubbing with a guy I’ve met a couple of times before. He tried to get me drunk. When we left the place he seemed to think that I would go home with him, despite me having a boyfriend and despite me not having shown any interest in him. So on the way to the subway he more or less shoves me up against a wall and tries to make out with me. I push him off of me, and was too busy being angry to get scared. That’s basically the only good thing I can think of… I got angry and pushed him away from me^^ I still feel like it was some kind of rape attempt.

The day after I got out with another friend of mine. This time it’s an actual friend! She isn’t feeling too good and gets completely wasted. To the point that I was very happy to be there to make sure she didn’t wander off, get lost or fall in front of a train or something… She was basically to drunk to walk straight.

I ask her if she wants to go to my place or to her boyfriend-but-they-have-a-break’s place. Her place was out since we’d already missed the last bus there… She wants to go the kinda-boyfriend’s place, so we make our way to the commuter trains, and manage to get on the one leaving 11.10.

When we get to her kinda-boyfriend’s place she panics. She’s basically on the ground, shaking and hyper ventilating… So I try to get her up, but her bag (which I’ve been carrying) gets in the way so I throw it to the kinda-boyfriend of hers. Then I more or less drag her up to his apartment.

There I try to get her to breathe normally, and gradually her breathing slows down to normal. So I think she’s made some progress only to notice she isn’t breathing at all. She’s trying to suffocate herself by swallowing her tongue (which by the way is close to impossible, and the suffocating part is a very stupid way to kill oneself cos once she passes out it would be easy for us to keep her from dying… I thought of none of those things cos I was too busy trying not to panic and trying to get her to breathe).

In the end the kinda-boyfriend calls 112 (the Swedish equivalent to 911) and the cops arrive. By the time they arrive she’s breathing normally (I kinda guilt tripped her into it “Do you realise how hard it will be for me to call your best friend and tell her you killed yourself?”) Since she isn’t actively trying to comit suicide any longer and is still very wasted the only thing they would be able to do it put her someplace to sleep it off. Since she could do that just as well with us as in a cell they left.

She more or less passed out on the couch and me and the kinda-boyfriend tried to get some sleep.

The reason she’s so miserable is cos she was raped by her grandfather and she feels like she can’t tell anyone in her family. Her grandmother has had to husbands die and my friend feels like she couldn’t hurt her grandmother like that. Since she likes her grandmother she has to see her rapist way too often for her own good. On top of that she refuses to get help. She just unloads on her friend and will sooner or later push them all away. I know I can’t take another night trying to make her breathe…

Not the Best Way to Spend the Night

Another post for boyfriend not to read!

“Lesser Battery”

Apparently the wittneses were too far away to be reliable when it came to the dragging-her-along-in-her-hair. They could’ve “seen wrong”. That some of her injuries would be impossible for her to give herself? Doesn’t matter.

Sentence? Fines.

And the Swedish court system is generally more progressive than anywhere else… I really don’t want to know how bad it is around the globe. I really hate to have to put this in the “Just another day” category…

Fuzzy

I went to see Ria Monday-Tuesday. I’ve never seen her place even though she’s been living there for over a year now… So Tony decided to “kidnap” me and drive us up^^

I just wish I could remember more of the visit… We got drunk all three of us, and I didn’t even have that much to drink. If I compare to how much I had on my graduation or the first time I got really wasted what I had on Monday was nothing. So I’m gusessing that the alcohol wasn’t the only culprit to my fuzzy memory.

Ria’s place is really nice :) It’s a one-bedroom apartment with a fairly big kithcen. I’m really annoyed with myself cos I forgot my camera ><

We were supposed to stay ’till today, but Tony’s parents needed their car back :P Half the drive home (two-and-half hours) was spent with me interogating Tony about Monday night. Mostly along the lines of “What did I do?” and “I did WHAT?!?”

The Tuesday was nice once I got over my hangover (around 3PM). We watched the Lion King and Ria made a really fancy three course dinner (with me and Tony helping out a little).

Sleep?

I’m scared of falling asleep… So I’m up ’till I’m exhausted.

Not good!

Some Things…

Some things I just don’t want to know! Some things you are not supposed to tell me… I tend to judge people by the company they keep. So if you’re friends are idiots the chances are high I’m going to think you are one too.

And if it’s something that will make my self esteem take a hit? Don’t tell me!

Intimate Partner Violence

Now I’m getting pissed off.

In Sweden some famous guy is going on trial for beating up his girlfriend. She reported him, but then recanted, stating that she injured herself. Thankfully intimate partner violence can be prosecuted anyway. They even have some pretty strong evidence. Among other:

• Several witnesses who saw him pulling her away by her hair (that is painful!)
• Some of the wounds would be physically impossible for her to give herself.
• Several documented injuries

The defence, other than the woman’s own testimony, have her father testifying. What kind of sick man would testify so that the guy who beat up his daugher goes free? What kind of sane person would do that? Here you have a chance to get your daughter out of an abusive relationship and you chose to testify to protect the perpetrator?

The defence’s reply to the “dragging away in her haird” part is that he was protecting her so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Apparantly she’s been suffering from anxiety and has hurt her self. Her dad is going to testify about her not feeling to well lately. Of course she’s not feeling well! She’s in a very unhealthy relationship!

Oh, I just thought I’d add that the Metro might not be the most reliable source…

Worth it?

Sometimes you have to give up something to gain something else. Sometimes it’s worth it and sometimes it’s not. How do you decide when it’s worth it?

Cheating and Trust

About four months ago I cheated on boyfriend. We broke up it but got back together about two weeks later. Obviously I had to regain boyfriend’s trust after what happened. I’m not sure he trusts me as much today as he did before I cheated on him… There was one positive thing with the whole cheating. I trust myself not to do it again.

Before I cheated I was so scared I’d go to far every time I spent time alone with someone I was attracted to and who was attracted to me. I was scared of what I might be capable of. Now I know that no matter how good the sex is it can never be good enough to outweigh the aftermath. It’s just not worth it.

I trust myself not to do anything if I can’t handle the downsides of my actions too. And I know that I can’t deal with all that guilt again. I know that no matter how bad it hurts breaking up with someone it’s better than cheating on them. Specially since cheating in my case would lead to breaking up.

Basically, even if boyfriend trusts me less after this I trust myself more.

What the Fuck?

Read this! Some dude finds out his girlfriend is trans and goes on to beat her up and the article only mentions the guy’s “humiliation” -.- What the fuck is wrong with this world?

Violin <3

Violins <3

This one I really like: