Good Day With a Bad End

The day started pretty good :) I met up with Risika. We went to the music shop to buy a CD for me and to the game shop to buy Super Smash Brawl for her. We had to wait in line for close to an hour! When a new popular game is released you don’t have one single guy working in the shop -.-

After a couple of hours of talking and eating ice cream and what not I got on the train to meet up with some other people for a pre-party. On my way there Linda texted me. She was late and asked me to meet up all the people who were supposed to come. Ria also texted me telling me she would be late.

Pure Happiness

I’m listening to the new CD from my favourite band for the first time right now. That’s pure happiness! (And better than sex)

Another Dull Day

Today I haven’t really done much. I woke up around noon cos a friend called me. Then I remembered that a former classmate was turning twenty today, so I sent her a text. It feels weird writing “former”.. I’m so used to her being a classmate. It’s more than three weeks since we graduated today. Feels weird…

I painted my nails today. I don’t like having drying nail polish.. I can’t use my hands properly then. At least they don’t hinder my typing :) And now they look pretty too^^

Tomorrow I’m going clubbing :) I hope I’ll have fun! And that the place will be a good place. “My” club just moved to a new place…

I got payed yesterday too^^ In Sweden pretty much everyone get’s their salaries on the 25th every month. 1057 SEK for three half-days of work^^ Not too bad actually^^ So for once I don’t feel poor. I also got money from my grandparents and aunt for my graduation :) I’ve never had this much money all at once.

I Need to Stop

I need to stop spamming YouTube videos here… But this song is really good! (And obviously it’s not the official music video xD)

This one too:

I’m in Love

Great song^^

Lyrics after the jump.

Hopefully Temporary

Maybe if my heart stops beating
It won’t hurt this much
And never will I have to answer
Again to anyone

Something is wrong… I can’t stay happy, I just end up feeling sad. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I just want to forget, live my life like it never happened, never hurt again.

I’ve hoped for change,
and it gets better everyday
I’ve hoped for change,
but still I feel the same

I just want to feel better. Is that so much to ask for? I want to change, I don’t like myself anymore, I don’t like who I’ve become. I don’t like who I am. I want change, not more bad feelings, nor more hurt.

Now I’m a walking contradiction
So tell me what’s wrong with this picture?
Cause anyone can see that this is only permanent
Temporary, so don’t hurt me this time

I sit here, afraid to fall asleep. I stay up ’till I’m exhausted. I don’t want to be awake, I just want to forget. I don’t want to live, I don’t want to die… I just want to be, be alone, be me, be happy. I don’t like who I have become, life is such a mess. Someone hates me.

Celebrity Crush?

I think I have a celebrity crush on Hayley Williams from Paramore.

Going Nocturnal?

The day before yesterday I woke up around ten, then having slept eight hours. Yesterday I woke up at noon, then having slept eight hours. Today I woke up at 2.30PM having slept 9½ hours.

I’m going nocturnal xD

(But then I’ll be working nights from July 8th)

More of the Same

More from the Danish singer, Anna David:

I like her music :) Speicaly the lycrics^^ She’s really mixed just like me^^ Her mum is German, the dad Norwigian/American. But she’s born in Denmark and from what I could see lives there^^

English and German versions below after the jump.

Was This Written for Me?

This is a Danish song I found while running around on YouTube. I’m just going to say that I absolutely love it and based on the content it could almost have been written for me. She even looks a bit like me… She’s born in the same city as me too O.o

Lyrics and translation after the jump.

First Post

My first post here is also my most read post. In that post I have a much details about my rape as I’ve ever put into writing in one post. I detailed the week I spent with the rapist. I just read through it. It hurt!

I was so ignorant, so blaming myself, so blind.

I couldn’t call it rape for a long time after it happened. First time I called it rape was more than a year and four months after it had happened.

Why is that post so frequently read? Are people enjoying reading about my pain? Or are there people who feel like they are not alone by reading my post? Does it just happen to have been filed under “sex” which must be one of the most frequently used search words for people to find me? is it cos I’ve linked back to it often? I don’t know.

It just hurts to be reminded of what happened every time I see my stats page. It’s soon two years ago it happened.

Sometimes I feel like my sexuality got completely hijacked and I still haven’t got it back… Flashbacks still wrecks my sex life at times. I still think about it too much. Seeing Italy and France play against each others in football (soccer) reminded me of it. I was raped once during the World Cup final between those two countries.

I Rock!

Or I just have too much time xD

Numbers and Music

I like number and I like music. Today when spending a lot of time on YouTube I discovered two new bands. Paramore and Flyleaf. I found that the leadsinger in Paramore was born in 1988 and the lead singer in Flyleaf was born on 4 September. If you mix those together you get my birthday xD

Great Song

I found this song on a blog when I was tagsurfing today… The song is really good! It’s one of those songs I just instantly fall in love with (other such songs are The Offspring’s The Kids Aren’t All Right, Can’t Repeat, Zebrahead’s Rescue Me, Hello Tomorrow, Adam Tensta’s My Cool, Bob Sinclair’s Sound of Freedom and various other songs… Actually, The Offspring and Zebrahead are two bands I’m in love with xD)

This is yet another song I’ve fallen in love with, Cruxshadows’ Birthday:

Lyrics after the jump.

Greece

There isn’t really much I can say about Greece really (pics to post though). I met family, but can’t post pics since I’m anonymous. My cousins are really cute though :) We visited an aquarium that was huge and had a lot of fish. This I can post pictures of^^

It looks like the fish is looking straight at you there xD

All the pics are linking to the full-size version. More after the jump.